Anatomy of Melancholy

I’ve been taking medication for bipolar disorder for over thirty years. In my case, medication has been useful. It has made it possible for me to pursue a moderately successful career and a life without too much destructive drama. Psychiatrists have prescribed for me nearly every anti-depressant and anti-manic drug available. Some have been more useful than others have and their efficacy has changed as I have aged and my circumstances have changed. What worked thirty years ago works today, but didn’t work for an intervening decade. I would never consider rejecting medication, but it also has never been the complete answer for me.

Over the years, I have collected a bag of tricks for dealing with depression and hypomania. None of them is a cure or guaranteed to work, but all of them have been helpful to me at various times. One of the strangest is a book written in the early seventeenth century Oxford don: The Anatomy of Melancholy. It is an odd book. Robert Burton, writing under the pen name Democritus Jr., undertook to describe melancholy and its cures, what we call depression today, in expansive detail. Since he was a scholastic, this included cataloging and analyzing every reference to melancholy in every fragment of preceding literature. Oxford had a large library and the Anatomy is a big book.

You might think this is a recipe for the most boring, depressing book ever written. Even Burton himself warned against reading it. I agreed until about fifteen years ago when I read an essay by Robertson Davies, the Canadian author, critic, and educator after hearing a tribute to Davies on the CBC and stumbling on a collection of his essays at Munro’s in Victoria. The essay I happened to read mentioned that Anatomy of Melancholy was a favorite of Samuel Johnson and sometimes called the greatest work of prose in the English language. That piqued my interest. I had picked up a library copy of the Anatomy long before, but could not make heads or tails of it and returned it to the shelves quickly. Now, I was ready to try again.

I ordered the New York Review of Books paperback edition. The fact that the Anatomy was among the small collection of books the NYRB published at the time hinted that the book is something special. When the book arrived, it was a brick, the equivalent of four or five typical paperbacks in a single binding, hard to open, and tricky to hold. I started reading from the beginning, but found no magic: lists of people I had never heard of, places that are no longer on maps, and words I had never seen before. But after reading for an hour or so, I felt strangely uplifted. Burton, I think, satirizes melancholy, mocks it, and renders it absurd. I say ‘I think’ because I am not sure. He uses so many words, so many allusions, it is hard for me to tell what he is talking about, but whatever it is, it can turn the black dog, as Winston Churchill called depression, into a puppy.

I carry a copy of the Anatomy with me at all times and dip into it when I notice the drab tones of depression seeping into my landscape. Sometimes it chases the black dog away, other times it only delays the dog’s arrival or blunts its tooth, but reading the Anatomy is always good for a little cheer in a dreary time.

My NYRB brick is gathering dust on the shelf because I have switched to an eBook version. The brick is too awkward and heavy to mess with, especially when you can get an electronic version free from the Gutenberg Project. The Anatomy is an example of the good qualities of eBooks—travelling with a brick is a pain and my arthritic hands cannot hold it comfortably for long but the eBook weighs nothing and it is easy to hold.

Since the Anatomy costs nothing from Project Gutenberg, does not require a prescription, and is wholly non-toxic, I suggest to anyone who is chronically depressed to try the Anatomy. Not a cure, no guarantees, but it can help.

Riding It Home

When I was a teenager, I bucked bales in the hay fields every summer from June to August. It was hard work, monotonous, dangerous, and working conditions were horrifying by today’s standards. In the fields, the sun beat down relentlessly, but the bale bucks all went shirtless, eight, ten hours at a stretch. Unloading hay in the barns, the air was thick with hay dust; sometimes it was hard to see fifteen feet.

For the first couple of weeks each summer, my back was a sheet of blisters as layers of skin burned, peeled away, and burned again. I slept on my stomach and took aspirin for the burn and fever. After a bad day in barns, I coughed black phlegm. I still associate summer with sunburn and congestion.

The work was picking up, carrying, and stacking forty to seventy-five pound bales onto wagons and into the barn. The cut ends of the hay wore through jeans and slashed skin; arms were red and bleeding by the end of the day. Dousing them with diesel oil soothed burn and seemed to speed healing, if you could take the searing pain when the diesel hit raw flesh. I wonder what a physician would think of that home remedy.

The toughest job was stacking the bales on the wagon. Some bales had to be lifted over your head in a military press onto the top of the load while standing on a jerking wagon on rough ground; just standing up was difficult. Carrying, lifting, and placing the bales on an unsteady platform took strength and skill. Comic tractor drivers popped the clutch to knock the bale bucks over in mid-lift. If an injury stopped you from working, your summer job was gone.

Fifty years later, a dermatologist has found pre-cancerous lesions on my skin. My orthopedist attributes the arthritis in my knees, hips and back to those years of grinding on my joints in the wrong ways.

Do I resent the hayfields when I have trouble standing up in the morning? Or when my dermatologist orders another biopsy? Not often. Would I wish it on a teenager today? No. They have their own learning fields.

But stacking hay on a wagon, you have choices. If you stack a sloppy load, it will collapse and have to be restacked. If you stack a perfect load, your self-serving perfection is a waste of the crew’s time.

The farmers had a way of forcing this tradeoff. They pushed mercilessly to get the hay on the wagons, and then made the stacker climb to the top of the load and ride it home to the barn—often five or so miles on rough county roads as fast as a pickup could pull the load. A stacker could place the bales any way he pleased, but he had to ride his load home. A stacker who wouldn’t ride it home was, well, someone who wouldn’t ride it home.

A Special Library Service

In my last blog, I wrote about libraries and the concept of a “service” as it is used in IT service management.

A few days ago, I chatted with the manager of the Ferndale Library and introduced myself as a new library trustee. The Ferndale Library is only a few miles from our house and I hang out there often. I mentioned that I am in the Ferndale Library often. My reputation as the new library trustee had preceded me. The manager said she had heard that the new trustee used the Ferndale Library WiFi for writing a book.

I was flattered that I have a reputation, but there was also something in this chat that I tie to service management. The truth is I don’t visit the library for the WiFi. The Internet is so much a part of my life that I have set up a network in our house that provides excellent Internet service, possibly better than the library.

If I don’t come for the WiFi, what do I come for? What service does the library offer that brings me to my favorite seat by the window?

It is a different service entirely, but a real service.

I wrote a good share my book, Cloud Standards, sitting at a table in the library. Sitting in a library helps me focus on writing. When I appear in the library, it is a sign that I have been procrastinating in my office at home and have come to the library to get some work done. I promised myself this summer that in 2013 I would complete a draft of the novel I am working on. Being the person that I am, I had to concentrate on fiction all of December to meet my self-imposed deadline. Consequently, I am a few chapters behind on my current technical book, Cloud Service Management, so the library will be seeing a lot of me this January.

The mission-critical service I get from the library is, for lack of a better word, the atmosphere. I have never seen this service provided anywhere but in a library. The service is complex. It involves the shelves of books, newspapers, and magazines. It grows from the murmur of earnest conversation. I am convinced that lady sitting across from me concentrating on her laptop, the fellow a few feet away studying the newspaper, the folks wandering through the shelves browsing for entertainment or practical information and advice, the varied band of users of the Internet terminals, the students hurrying to finish tomorrow’s homework, the librarians and pages tending the patrons and the collection, all these contribute to something I think Durkheim and later Jung called a “collective consciousness.” I struggled with Durkheim when I was an undergraduate and I’ve never been able to understand Jung, let alone explain him, but I believe the collective consciousness in a library helps me get my chapters written.

All libraries have it. I’ve been to London on business several times. I always skip the sights and find time to go to the reading room of the British Museum. My wife thinks I’m crazy, and she’s more than likely right, but some of the most profound and important concepts and words on this planet have been conceived and written in that space. I love to sit under the gilt and sky blue dome, reading and writing for as long as I can, occasionally pinching myself to check if I am really sitting in the room of intellectual titans.

The amazing thing is that the Ferndale Library, all the other libraries in the WCLS, and libraries everywhere deliver the same service. Can the service be enhanced, increased in value? Most services can, but I confess, I have only one thought on improving the mystery of the library: the atmosphere is collective, the more folks who know and use this service, the stronger it becomes. I’m looking forward to the new Ferndale library building, but even more, the new patrons I hope it will bring in.